i've been hearing this song with the muse as 'jackie' on lush 99.5fm and it puts me under a spell. i don't know who it is by and it is killing me to find out. it really is a beautiful sad song- the music, sigh. today had supper with the subgroup gang after crit at fungseng. had plain pratas, was happy to find out dad had cooked soup at home so that kinda ended the day nicely.

they say absence makes the heart grow fonder but it tortures the poor heart though. i never get tired of your presence, in fact you are my addiction. you are the sweetest to me, love.

very bloodsapping but it was a lesson. i need to develop a more keen eye for such event shoots, very tricky. gah, i'm anxious for the results. i hope there will be romantic miracles. i spent the whole day with my best friend, carrying the nikon babies (if you will, i'm sure they are that to you my trumpeter, i hope i treated them fairly -grin). the walks and the talks and the whisperings we could manage here and there. we have tender moments big and small. we should do that more, laze in the car all dressed up before the big moments. zion road prata after was delicious, and much needed. the whole day it was see and not touch, near yet so far, to pine in cliches. so when you suggested supper i jumped at the chance. prata was second to holding your hand and sitting by you. i am always thinking of you - you dashing nikonian. and i look foward to the following saturday. a very strong undercurrent - and my intuition is right - that the day will be one of those i have to write essays about to make permanant the sensations.

must work hard this week. the first and fourth girls are very lorelei and rory in some ways. we will always be missing some parts in some relationships, though gaining in others, such is the bittersweet symphony.

you know why we are powerful mister choy? we have the nectar of our secret codes and histories and unwritten futures. i can read that in your smile. and i love you for it.

rigour rigour rigour + simplify simplify simplify.
live the hardworking life again. leave no space in between for idle wonderings. there is simply too much to be done. daily and weekly intensity.

rigour and simplicity, just like a child.

the sequences for kickboxing was same today. somehow i could get more power into everything today. hope i can wake early for a run tomorrow morning. i have to zip it many times esp with relation to d who tries to remind me to be focused on my work. and true enought i'm spending time on the wrong things. so i shall try not to do these things too much now - random surfing, being online when i need not be, watching too much tv ( i grew up without watching much tv, should continue that truly)watching only what i really want to watch and leave out the rest, reading magazines and walking around town aimlessly. henceforth what i shall focus on is schoolwork, church, necessary relations and continual exercising. i must be good.

p.s. ed this shot black and white. the sun looks more magnificent here.

quite wow. can you imagine? scooped from gettyimages.com. posed but still pretty. if i had a train it'd have to be lace thougt. MandM's first full wedding photography project. exhilaration and butterflies. sigh i want to create wallpaper type shots. did a run this morn, stupid stiches. early morning makes a good start. green-tea some more this noon.

sushi tei date - white seats must bump.
cuttlefish sushi and the prawn stuff - must have two plates
we can sure talk every minute, we can sure keep a meaningful silence every minute. we can grin all the way home. my jaw ached laughing in front of the drinks selections in the supermarket, o you instigator of jaw-aching laughs. saw char at the basement of paragon. i had a cup of tiramisu gelato.

continuing with bill bryson, it's finishing soon. bill bryson is o so funny. also, to do aki stuff. must must. will try to catch closer this week. vjc homecoming on 5th march, everybody must go. i love reunions. and mister choy i'll show you where the round seats are before rr3. heh.

bill bryson is so funny.

i ran to the stadium, had an hour of kickboxing - i think my triceps will hurt tomorrow we did a million punches - and was going to run home when i saw the car in the stadium driveway. twas siew jie waiting to pick me up.

dinner date tomorrow, sushi with the boy. i tend to be too quick to defend and not just listen. zip it now. zip zip.

i had such a wonderful time today with mister choy. we sat in the car listening to 99.5FM eating our free packets of beehoon and we (re)discovered great world city. excuse the tacky interior and it makes a great shopping centre, a bit like plaza singapura before it was renovated (the family charm) with the right mix of shops - coffee bean, spinelli, that cd shop, a bookshop, with shops laid out in a non-straightfoward manner,everything was nice. we nooked in delifrance with my chocolate eclair and his ham and cheese croissant after buying funky earphones for the my little drummer boy, the bro for his 16th birthday. and mister choy got me a big bag in deep blue plastic with some art deco parisian chic picture on the front, good but it caught our eye as we were going down the escalator.

at home after dinner we celebrated with coffee cake from b.solo and took turns hugging the bro and taking photos, he was grinning with his wide happy infectious sixeen-year-old grin. and i borrowed bill bryson's 'down under' to prepare myself for australia. happy times are here to stay M.Y. Choy o mine. this week i have two sessions of kickboxing lined up cos i missed last week's class. i'm going intense this week and i'm going to be good and accomplish my to-do list.

too much VOGUEing. distraction. be gone.

ooh la la. more, more.

i love those hands holding mine. i think you are cool to tolerate my distracted mood. i have to visit my optician tomorrow. something is wrong with my eyesight or contacts and it's making things blur/giving me headaches/making me irritable/tired/worried. did 22 comfortable laps then the pool and had first yah dinner near holland v. the renovated back yard of coffee club is really nice. holland village is filled to the brim with gorgeous girls. they were everywhere, and all beautiful, and funky or cool, had clothes and shoes and figures i wanted. they took my breath away.

critique notes. crit today. this lego playing is intriguing and stressful. how to think and do and live unprecedentedly? i like my group mates. makes the negotiations and collaborations fun. i met the snazzy boyfriend today in shirt with cool patterns. we had bak chor mee and yu yuan mian at scotts foodcourt.

she takes a step towards the train and he tenderly holds her arm and says "give me a kiss". she turns around, a quick smack. it can never be a ritual, this. a graham swift moment that was. light as well as charged with the whole storey of mankind.

thanks for the archie comics

twenty laps this burning morn. heatwave. boiling hot. loved the shade. crazy this sun.

so sweet she. mod site

so then, i was dreadfully bothered, cranky and in a mood to kill. the long tedious journey home made me so, i was tired in the head, my eyesight was giving me funny problems. i wanted to tell you to call me another time cos i was cranky and wanted to be cranky for crankiness's sake but when you said hello i forgot i was cranky. let's have a little trippy medley to celebrate the sudden erasure of the killer cranky mood before i go to sleep. tonight i want psychedelic dreams. the beatles have been quite inspirational these days.

...There’s nothing you can make that can’t be made.
No one you can save that can’t be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time
It’s easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need...

...It’s been a hard day’s night,
And I’ve been working like a dog,
It’s been a hard day’s night,
I should be sleeping like a log,
But when I get home to you,
I find the things that you do,
Will make me feel alright...

...You've really got a hold on me...
You've really got a hold on me

ack. i've gotten wider. hit the pools!hit the track! and, drink plenty of water.

we had a good session of brainstorming last night, and contemporary theories was quite fun today, because we used pleasantville as an illustration and it was an interesting topic to engage in; feminist theory, chora, dwelling and the likes...eeks. bobby was enthusiastic so that was good. i needn't have to struggle through michael foucalt's the discourse of language cos we did't use it in the end but it was good reading, it nearly killed me though. i struggled to stay awake for the next eight hours after having slept a mere half hour the night before. i'm stil young, heh. ok so it was me dashing to meet you at crystal jade la mien. so that spicy popiah skin thing shall be our official v day dish eh. cute. i think you looked great in that shirt today, so let's be a bit frou frou in my textual verbalisations - twas you in your maroon strippped textured shirt and me in my lime green top and brown skirt. a clash! but we were as comfy as can be. i gave you another one of those, in purple and black and silver. yummy mantou.

dear trumpeter you are wonderful to me.

so now a moment of silence. authur miller has passed on. i have a fondness for him, which is derieved from the pleasure of his text - the crucible and the fond memories of doing research to do my set design during A levels. sigh.

hotel rwanda is tearfully poignant and gripping. how do you not force yourself to freeze your emotions while you are watching it? if not i'd simply have cried out loud there and then. and so yes we say aww and go back to our have our warm dinners. made me think of ee jie in sri lanka now helping out; she's back tomorrow and i can't wait to see her. i miss her lots and i wish she were home, yishun-home.

and i love your tender actions. quite stuffed with sushi tei, i'd choose to sit closely next to you anytime. gotta rest well for a long tomorrow.

also today i VOGUEed.

today was quite nice. walked and talked with the choy o mine and choy o mine's sister here and there and had a slice of strawberry and white chocolate ice cream cake for dessert. strawberry goes perfectly well with white chocolate, no other will do. and a treat for me, that is, oen and a half episodes of past episodes of gilmore girls that i missed that choy o mine, he taped for me. awwww, dear lorelei and luke. and they threw in some names in there for rory - kafka and chaucer. i wish i had the chance to do the lit-s paper in jc, i could have been more disciplined, sure i would have been able to do it. i only got to the wife of bath before i had to quit.

carpe diem

choy o mine you are always in my heart.

how about this? the sweet volvo we took to the spa in chiangmai. it was so red and so old.

did a little VOGUE browsing. how about this? a dark blue short gypsy dress with liquid sleeves + purple suede knee high boots. and i saw the most beautiful stressed light brown leather sling bag - the type i can carry my life around in.

dear mister trumpeter 'o' beloved love 'o' mine,

i am glad that you are you and i am i and we are we.

chinese new year this year was neat but quite lacking cos the da jie was away. it ain't the same without the complete loh family squashed in the car. twas new in that thai cousin was here but it ain't the same without miss loh number one.

new photos they plaster the cream wall.

close up of pretty balconies

sunset the journey back to chiangmai from don inthanon.

hotel in pattaya. what pretty balconies.

the morn i awoke at 615am suddenly and had the sudden surge of energy to conquer the morning. so i went to run in my pale yellow nike drifit top and i witnessed parts of the world come alive at that time. so i did my 8km though it was a little less than that cos my right knee killed me - sudden surge of pain that i had never felt before. but other than that listening to lush 99.5fm puts me in a high on the run - fantastic plastic machine came on - this is recycled overture - that really got me on a high. morning met the group fong seng prata kosong and prata egg with sugar of course kinda erased my run but that's okay i can run again tomorrow morning if the knee pain doesn't come attack again, i hope i doesn't. i hate

and C has great taste in music so it was a rather productive mid-morning session with oh so cool music in the background. some how when C played the beetles later on when we joined our layers it seemed like a very surreal time indeed. penny lane. i love.

i must must write this down. twas you and me always and forever. so we watched two episodes of gilmore girls in the afternoon in our shade then we went for the concert at vjc. and i love how when i sit next to you you took my hand and kissed it the prince charming way, and how i could lean on your shoulders when i was feeling so sleepy. cheesiness in the cliched expression but the feeling and moments were mine and mine only. they can't take that away from me [to get into the jazz of things]and i look foward to tuesday. i couldn't stay for the big shots, missed jacinta A. she's a favourite of mine, missed jeremy monterio and company. well i got to get johanna's contacts. she whom i spied and she whom i eyed for a pretty long time before i dared to approach her, just in case i got the wrong person. and it was she and so in june i will see her in melbourne! another childhood sorta friend - tis a nice feeling. a segment of me being extended into the present and to be extruded into the future.

tired. but, here, a tinge of being sweetly glad that you are mine.

My funny valentine
Sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable, unphotographable
Yet you're my favorite work of art

okay. a moderate 30-lap swim today. i relearned how to swim properly again and soon enough i was rocketing through the waters. i spent alot of time thinking about a certain someone today.

four days of yearning. today it was bliss. so again it was you and me, always, and forever. dinner at sushi tei and then another satisfactory time of our not-so-new-found nook, coffee bean and tea leaf - we always manage to get the enviable sofas now. nice husky outside, six girls went up to pat the dog and ooh and ahh in the short span of time the owner was there. anyway, as always, these conversation times are the best, you trying to explain physics to me and me, listening and looking adoringly. we matched dashingly, in chocolate browns and a kind of olive green. my vocabulary is dying. time to read the dictionary. hello oxford.

vertical communal space. that's kind of exciting to think about. the ache has gone. i'm in the mood for rocketing through waters.

i want to be a french ye-ye girl!

revelation :: it's only the day after kickboxing will you realise which part of your body you had been working hard the day before :: so last week it was triceps :: this week it is the upper back near the neck due to the fist throwing we did with two hands at once :: tomorrow morning i promise myself a swim or a run :: four days of not seeing the boy tomorrow we will hang up our shoes and paint the town red he says :: bangs or not straight across like francoise hardy like when i was six years old yes or no i don't know i kinda like my bare forehead too :: this studio collaboration is tough with so little time but it is something new we shall write new worlds in our plots :: m.y. choy i'll see you tomorrow and surely we shall grin to no end and talk to no end and of course we shall hold hands to no end :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

my current desktop. what a beautiful picture of francoise hardy.

ran only twenty minutes because of stitches that would not go away. but that kickstarted another bout of workout hunger. i now crave a thirty lap swim but prob will put that off for a bit because there is kickboxing tomorrow with siew jie. run! run! run to the stadium.

reminder to be good and diligent and push myself to the ends of the earth. and to do what matters and filter out what is not. i could be mighty.

tonight there's The Practice.