dinner yesterday with the class. it was chomp chomp where we fed Joanne's husband Ben char kway teow, oor luat, popiah, chai tao kway, bbq stingray and eight different bowls of cold dessert and a huge dosage of sugar cane juice. good conversation, happy stomachs. it started pouring and we went to wala wala in cars and had more happy conversation. i met Joanne's friend, Jessica, the pretty babe i always notice around vjc last time, and she's so nice to talk to, very amiable. anyway summary of the night's events equals to rosy faces flushed with excitement at seeing everybody again after so long, excitement at the crappy conversations spilling over those voices those jokes, excitment at having all that gorgeous food spread out in front of us. rain soaked, drizzled upon we were but maybe that made it magical too. umbrellas as props for our little drama evening, very lost in translation moments, not the sadness, but the nuances and the lingering glittering joy then and after. hazy crazy. Liling was sweet buying us all each a stalk of cream roses, the way i like it, pure stalks, long and leafish. my friends are all gorgeous and i love them all. hearty and laughter- saturated, just the way i like it.

you have to make time to view this mtv. i saw it at topshop where they always play great songs and mtvs on their screens that distract me from the clothes.
so cool.

http://www.soundgenerator.com/news/index.cfm?articleid=3783

this is their official website. you can find the mtv 'you can't hurry love' on

http://www.lickingfingers.com/

the illustrations are done by Liselotte Watkins. Shes does the interior and decoration styling section in VOGUE UK. some of her illustrations are quite graphic, but they've really got personality. i immediately recognised her illustrations when i saw the mtv in topshop! they're really gorgeous.

http://www.pipel.se/otherpipel/person.php?id=3

actually, haiyah, being tan is not that bad. white looks whiter than white on me. maybe i can pass of as a mediterranean princess.

there's a perfect reason why sometimes we need skinny arms and narrow shoulders. the perfect mod chic black and white top from topshop i spied and tried on but the fit of the shoulders was too narrow for my everlastingly broad shoulders and cap sleeve types fit skinny arms better than my semi muscular semi flabby arms. it was perfect, so perfect.

quebec city, iced lake. minus twenty something degrees celcius morning. last christmas.

last christmas,niagara falls. the falls rained on me. wanderlust strikes again. it was innocent wasn't it wyn? travel empowers you. time warp. we bought a chocolate bar to share at the tourist shop after getting wet by the fall's powerful waters that sprayed upwards. the weather made us all look kate hudson luminously fair, for a while i could pretend in my mind that i was one step closer to being one of those oh so chio vancouver chic asian canadian babes.

the grass is always greener on the other side, so i sing today.

after getting tanned last week and this week which made me feel seemingly tropically glamourous, now i want to be kate hudson fair and luminous.

now i will only allow myself to swim after sunset. i think i forgot to run, it's been so long.

holidays are there for us to spoil ourselves rotten by waking up late and going swimming whenever we want to, and pretending in our escapist little minds that we forgot we ever had a 'have to accomplish before holidays end and school begins' list. but of couse, like eating chocolate and that kind of thing, we should never feel guilty for it. we are only young once.

my baby sister is growing up. she is learning new phrases everyday, so cute. like ' my partner came late today, i want to smack her!'. sigh, all of seventeen, so cute!

and so, yesterday was the one with the wedding dinner. joanne and her husband ben. i haven't seen her for all of five years since jc and when the thick brown doors of the ballroom were thrown open, in glided a resplendent glowing slender and fair bride, dearest joanne our jumpy loud fac captain whom i recall ate chicken wings in the canteen with denise with such glorious looks on their faces and oil smeared over their fingers. and so i met the other classmates with their charasmatic and endearing other halves and when jo came around she was still the same jumpy talkative jo we knew ala more glam mama then before.i love my class so and we're arranging a meeting this week before jo flies back to become mrs. ben in australia forever. jo's dad was the mc, and he was so hilarious, the funniest dad i've ever met, and when jo gave a speech it just made me wanna cry, sigh, so sweet. they had a great wedding in a gothic church perfect for sweet young couples in australia and they showed us slides. it's all so surreal, this experience of theirs. you realise suddenly, blinding light and thunder bolt style, that you're greedy to own your friends and their experiences, those kindred spirits that made bling bling moments in your life once upon a time and there's a snap, they belong in another story all by themselves and you're left on the outside. and somehow you're grateful you were there, mentioned in a chapter or two, and it's such a privilege and an honour. the colours, the colours of life, making me emotional and all.

so to calm myself down and remember that life is more monotonous than drama, i went swimming again, doing thirty laps blissfully as i had the lane all to myself, and laughed silently at the cute little kids having swimming lessons by the side of the pool, their buttocks sticking into the air as the leaned against the side and practiced their kicking. lunch with daddy. indulged in fashion magazine frou frou ness before taking a lazy nap that lasted till dinner time to wake up to the smell of good dinner cooked by da jie and i shared a cup of green tea with her. must resupply, no more. and during my afternoon nap i dreamt that i was desperately finding a place to swim but the weather would not cooperate.

tomorrow i met mister am why choy to watch 'the returns', a recommended russian film. all artsy tomorrow. so today later i will continue my frou frou ness day by reading vogue and watch friends on tv.

topshop, miss selfridge,

i lurrrve you!

let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.

Colossians 3 verses 16 and 17

Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men; knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.

verse 23 and 24

tea anyone?
http://www.samova.net/

whine whine whine so irritating.
haha. scolding myself. went for self enforced therapy, that is.

swimming.

tues twenty four laps
wednesday several lazy laps
fri twenty laps
sat thirty laps and i had the whole pool to myself cos it was raining, the whole pool all for myself

so swimming is my new obsession.  fitness wise that is.i so love the ache that comes with it.

for all the things we say and do to tell ourselves all things are possible, reality is there are too many things to consider when sometimes you want to do just what they do in the movies, regardless of everything and anything, to do exactly what they want to do at that moment without having to feel pressure, guilt, burden, torn and suffer no consequences cos things fall into place naturally in the movies, hollywood style that is, the most you get, is one hour of suffering.

so of course we continue to feel torn, envious, and utterly disgusted with ourselves. and how sorry we feel for ourselves. so oww, so eww. and i am only whining for sure.

this morn, i swam some 24 laps in the pool, wanted to swim more but the lanes were getting too crowded and there was some funny chemical smell every time i came up to breathe. then i ran some few kms in the evening, and now i feel quite good. had meiji strawberry yoghurt, which up the endorphin factor, when u get so many strawberries in the little jar, ooh yums. espirit was having a sale, i blame post swim endorphins that forced me into getting this real nice bag at espirit on seventy percent discount, just right to up my wannabe stye queen factor. been on a reading break. this weekend i need to start on doing my serious work.
 
 

day before i popped by at brenda's commencement, and yesterday it was sharon's. it's pretty neat meeting your other friends around and going crazy snapping away. everyone is so connected it's kinda fun actually.  then we called ying and headed to holland v for a chill out cum sharon's grad mini celebratory tea dinner thing. it was one of the most laughter filled sessions every at that cosy cushion stuffed nook facing the window with the clear light, so the memory of yesterday was hazy crazy. and i ordered a morning dew tea, sugarless of course, all light and subtle adding to that crisp woozy giddy high of spending time with the girls, my girls them all.  there's this thing with old friends that carry on with you till the present, they give you a sense of self, a continuity's both comforting and rejuvinating, and i love the feeling so. and the girls were great, staying with me till i had to pop over to wala-wala to meet the aki chaps, the interns at maps with whom i think are great company for an evening of group chill out, nice music, nice friends, nice vibe.
 
i say, shopping on impulse is prob the downfall of many a poor students. wandered into mango yesterday, and there was this blue fitted jacket with slight shoulder paddings and big squarish pockets, but i didn't need another jacket. just now while writing in my diary the image of the perfect bag of the moment came into my mind, like a prophetic vision, light leather huge fitted tote with a continuing shoulder strap that ends in a silver or chrome buckle. it would match everything i wear i know. it's the season of lace camisoles, my favourite of all time.

quiet morning holiday bliss, vancouver, 24th december 2003

such a cliched thing to say but i do feel a bit funny with all the girls my batch graduating this year, the last remnants who were in honours last semester. the same feeling i get when my aki batch graduated last year with their b(arch) degrees. no, no negative feelings, since i've never thought of the graduation ceremony as a big thing. come to think of it, i guess it is something meant to be celebrated. the thing i'll be celebrating is that i finally don't have to burden my dad with tuition fees anymore, in two years that is.

anyway going out is always dangerous, money spending is more liberal when you see things. consumerism traps surround you everywhere. of course we don't need those things. ok, today i fell prey to hmv and borders. bought the godfather trilogy which was on sale, and also 'sabrina' the audrey hepburn black and white version. she's classic as usual. some personalities just take your breath away. and in the jazz section of hmv under recommendations there was this french 70s brigette bardot cd which was NOT on sale but after sampling the music i was tempted and i parted wtih my twenty two dollars and ninety five cents. it's really cool though. i saw these francoise hardy and edith piaf cds but i couldn't sample them so i wasn't that tempted, a good thing i guess. sabrina she went to france and lived the french life, lana lang wants to go to paris to do art. it's scary how tv can make you feel so extremely pained at how things see so attainable and yet unattainable at the same time. it makes you feel how short life is, and it makes you feel how much you can grasp before you die. and of course it makes you think of death too, which also, makes you think about life. thinking is a waste of time at some points in my life, procrastination can make you die an unsatisfied person, and who, comes home each day and feels totally unregretful, whole, and satisfied for even one day in her life? moping? no. this is what endorphins from running does to you sometimes. it can give you a high that takes over your mind.

and these few minutes, mellow moments, the stillness before the breaking, the subtle surges of introspection comes stealing.

all things are possible.all things are possible.all things are possible.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2001936449_jacobs23.html

although i moan the demise of our old library at stamford road and i still moan at how its destruction is one great national tragedy, i am anticipating the opening of the new library because i am a lover of books.

i hope it is as exciting as mr koolhas's creation.

not too much glitz please. coolness is icing on the cake. but just make sure there are hidden corners and mountains of good books.

shucks. but i still moan the loss of our stamford road library, with its musty smell and dusty iron grille windows and its bricks and the old majesty of it. even reading comics in a corner makes you feel awesome.in agony, i am.it's not just a sentimentality, folks up there who makes the big decisions, it's , ah, it's in the bones of all us people, it belongs to us. it's in the light, it's in the trees, it's in the parapet and the tiled steps and the ghostly courtyard.

and they say we don't voice our opinions. we just don't get heard. it's for the big picture they say. the FUTURE. aww stop those crocodile tears now it's just a piece of construction that's in the way.

whaaaadever, byebye piece of me.

first year of design school - what does the teacher like? concept? bah.

second year of design school - where are the toilets in the plans? huh?

third year of design school - relation to site? relation to site? relation to site?

i love design school. it stretches you plastic band thin. speaking of which, seeing my sister now starting design school and the same struggles apply. agony! the best thing in design school, is where there are the teachers that inspire you, few and rarely, but these little sparks get you through. in fact they are what makes you realise the extension of yourself into the world and its secrets and vice versa.

are some people just naturally academia queens? or does it come with growing up?

i'm just not one of them, academia queens. so ok i love reading things on every topic, political, social, psychological. but i suspect i'm not skeptical enough to be a true academic. or maybe, it doesn't have to do with skepticism, just a healthy inbuilt radar of questioning opinions, which i just lack, or am not very quick at using if i do possess it. so everything i ask just seems superficial, one thus should not just hunger for academia, one just is. and i am not.

oh well i guess i'll just go vogue/taitai gibberishing with sharon, my semi academia for my dose of semi academia half pretense.

i think that exposure is one of the most important things in the world. it doesn't matter if reading other people's more intelligent and worldy wise slanged journals make you feel more stupid or feeling haughtily superior when reading some ah lian's comments make you feel like you've seen more, the thing is, the more you perspectives you are exposed too, the more informed your views on life, and thus, i suppose, it humbles you.

whatever it is, read everything and anything. even 'vogue'. you can never read too much of 'vogue'. a little bourgeosie fantasy is well, a necessary indulgence.

today wynnie and me joined the streetwise 10km run at east coast. then we took a long walk back to singapore swimming club, about another 10km thereabouts. wow ten km and my legs ache already, don't know if i can make it for stan chart half marathon. but it's good now, the endorphins are kicking in and tomorrow i'll wake with a nice ache in my thighs and butt. east coast was filled with people, it's so nice and relaxing to see people being all relaxed at the beach. running at east coast reminded me of the vj days when i'd go running there, the smell of vjc is the smell of the sea. vjc is so cool, the only jc with a beach setting. saw some current students running also, and i realised, i'm prob considered ancient!

been reading 'the godfather' which i picked up at grandma's home, a 1972 version with retro cover and mouldy inside prints, so delightful to read. it's such a readable book and so gripping too. i'm ashamed of myself, i havent' watched ' the godfather' before. but i will soon. esp since mister m brando, the godfather himself just passed away. i watched him in 'apocalypse now' in film class but he was mostly in the shadows and at the far end bit of the show.

yesterday i finally finished work at the office, but i'll be having lunch with zita on tuesday. adeline made a very pretty pair of earrings as a farewell gift for me, it's so nice i thought she had bought them, it's like three long small chains of uneven lenght with bronze type circles at the end. very pretty.

i've learnt in the past one and a half years of so, moping does one no good. truly, all that i've been through has opened my eyes and heart. Thank God for the things that fall into place.

tomorrow me and MY are going to watch spiderman. hooray for holidays!