finding my polaroid



sometimes we get chastised and receive a piece of advice we wish had come earlier. it is so easy to get lost in the fear of not knowing - be bold! be brave! - she says - timidity is even worse than mediocre exploration, for at least by the mere step of exploring we move a step further on and that leads to the next step. whilst there is no room for regret, there is always more than enough room to be inspired and be bold, embracing and throwing yourself in the deep end is a much better option than hiding behind the pillar. i would very much want my future actions and thoughts to be fuelled by much leaping across stages instead of staring from the audience. how now - to start splashing paint across the sepia-toned - colour and lots of it! raw grit!

trying very hard to be the original me, more often than not i get caught up in the photocopies and glossed cover versions - how is it to really hear yourself and know yourself - actually maybe it is better to try and live beyond yourself? twenty five and still trying - more often than not it is the simplest things that i ought to make the clearest - focus on getting my principles right - that nagging voice that says it is alright to be an escapist and not take life seriously - is actually very dangerous because by not taking life seriously you float higher and higher and soon you lose yourself.

i think that's why it's so important to do as much as possible, to contemplate art, read and re-read books, watch films, talk to as many people as possible, travel, draw, etc. sometimes you find yourself in that stroke of the paintbrush, or in the thoughts of a character sketch or you feel your stagnant self inspired and refreshed, broken anew in some conversations - to experience in the original - and i am still far behind.

picture source: zhou xuan in miumui's past season ad.