plus and minus (s)



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+ i have to go on a detox - physical, mental, spiritual, financial...to really sit down and read all the books i want to read, take time out to exercise and go back to basics

+ + discipline seems to come in spurts; i'm too easily distracted. i think i have to be harsher on myself than on others.

+ + + kindness.

+ + + i passed my driving test. driving is like architecture - you go further; it's more challenging but it comes with rules. cycling is like art - you don't have to think or care very much about everything else and just focus on the breeze carassing your face and decide when you want to cycle really fast, then let go and stand on the peddles, face up in the air.

+ + + + i think i shouldn't be so sloppy when dressing to work; impressions!

+ + + + + confidence!

+ + + + + + prioritise.

+ + + + + + + everyday i am reminded about what a sweet husband i have. i am one lucky wife.

+ + + + + + + + by april i am finally going to: print and hang all the pictures i've wanted to; dye and trim my hair; take my passport picture (at this juncture, i hear a little manly whisper going 'tsk tsk')

+ + + + + + + + when am i going to start a real blog?

when most of the year is flooded with the too-bright sun, i welcome the moodiness of the dim skies and the smell and sound of the rain; i am glad that at my office now i still face a window, where there is the view of trees outside.

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i like really big pictures in a home. time to fill my walls in december!
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we are near the end and beginning!
chug...chug...chug...only 1.5 more stories to go. friday smells perenially like freedom and i must not let it go to waste. soon sleepy nights and dates with my computer will be put aside for the sweet end-of-the-year breath. that is my reward.

Thinking

these few days i have been speaking to many designers and i was inspired:

T.G.B said that we must have a hunger always for what we do if not we are dead; he also said that we must always reach higher. once we think we have made it, we are doomed. and he also said caviar is awesome with vodka.

L.C.W said the media is a big culprit of this superstar syndrome of design and what the media can positively do is to provide valuable critique instead of just promoting the newer only; and just as design should be refined, not vulgar, so should the process, hence no need for the super-stardom.

and K.E.H is not a designer but a manufacturer and after speaking to him i want to buy a wishbone chair.

*articles are not in print yet so i won't reveal the names.

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so in a way, publishing is not just another job; it's a part of my journey to finding out more about myself and what i want out of life. i think.

long weekend



2 BBQs in a weekend. On Friday the office had a BBQ at M's home and on Sunday evening, another BBQ rounded up the cell retreat. this time for cell retreat alex and tl planned an outreach program. we took some old folks to eat at the food court at the flyer and then to the peranakan museum, which is a really nice museum by the way. so a weekend of revelry, to be followed by two weeks of super intense churning of words. must. be. focused. so that i can attend my events, both personal (a weekend with siblings, baby shower for sam, dinner with greg and sabine from hk) and work.

+ + +

sometimes i think about my current work, about how doing architecture is so different about writing about it; there is the tendency to fall into the trap of thinking one is inferior to the other, hence i always have to remind myself that both are different and hence, what is it within this particular context that i want to achieve? what kind of focus do i want? what is the point of telling design stories? is there such a thing as a design story? in a way, i don't want to, at this point, very strongly dip my toes into the realm of critique, hence i stay on the safer side of a 'story'. so now i am still watching, learning, thinking, reflecting - within the right context. and i must do so quietly because really, as yh has always reminded me, focus on the substance; that is what he had been training me to do. (and not to lose yourself; and to be 'selfish' and bold to go your own way).

and so retreat was great cos the focus was on compassion. i think there are a lot of qualities i have to develop/ re-develop. the best way to do that is being quiet, listening and asking. sometimes i think about whether i am performing my roles to the best of my abilities - a good wife, sister, daughter, employee - and the most important thing is always not how much i do physically but where is God in all this. reflection - discipline - action.

it's good to take stock sometimes, of yourself. what do i like to do? what do i want to do? how do i want to do it? what do i not like? what is most important? what are more important? what is not important at all? what to think about? what to think about more? what not to think about? what really really is bliss? are my hands wasted? sometimes when you meet people from the past, it's a bittersweet moment, etc.

maybe when you reach thirty you realise, there's no time for things that don't matter. am i thirty? between seventeen and now, i haven't an inkling, it's a haze.

busy busy now before hk. have to churn out work. i'll take stock in hk. on the plane maybe. i like plane rides.

on a side note, much love and thanks to husband for marketing, buying lunch and bak kwa for me, washing up, and much more while i'm busy writing. hugs a million and kisses a trillion.

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Some more things...I love:

+ spending time with the family - the siblings, the parents, the babies.
+ cool wind in morning as I write from home, after a wash of rain
+ reading good writing
+ husband coming home and lots of hugs
+ husband's mega headphones to envelope my world with aimee mann/ ash/ cardigans while I write, and while I sense the writing coming together, and while the air is still cool, coming in through the window in an unexpected rhythm of whispers

SOME THINGS



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this is another inspiration for long hair. my hair's just touching the shoulders now and i consider that an achievement.

+ + +

that day r asked me if i had writing music. it's a different one for her each issue. i can't really write with words in the background but i do love soundtracks - il mare, sabrina (all taken from my sister) and sometimes something classical.

what a nice afternoon to be writing at home, when the morning storm has brought a friendly breeze and the sun's not too harsh. there's a slight mist outside the window that watercolours the tree tops and roof tops.

+ + +

what a brilliant, beautiful angle of the space in a home by koenig.



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i am glad we are now both well. last week husband was, and it was my turn these few days, but thankfully the issue is closed; what could be more horrible having to churn out words when you have got a throbbing headache and fever?

that said, i'm looking to starting to RUN again now that i have time and am well.

gathering, finding

there's always a bit of a mental block when it comes to starting an essay, what with the huge chunks of research in front of you, the hollowness in the brain, it's like grabbing with many tentacles but unclear what at. but as you begin to cancel out the information you have used, it starts to feel better. i've learnt that the initial step is the hardest - the part when you put in all the information before editing and when you're trying to get an angle. that's part one. part two is the editing, the re-evaluation of angles. that one is painful sometimes, but less than part one. it's a bit similar to design in this aspect.

aim: complete part one by 9pm!

grace



love the collar detail! (cropped from garance dore's website)

yesterday i met a young jewellery designer at her studio - i am so inspired! maybe i'm going to get one of her gold necklaces. if i'm disciplined with my spending in the next month i just might. and she was so charming - that mix of joy and simple interest in doing what she likes; a certain discipline that comes with just doing well what she is interested in; reminds me that sometimes i think a little too much of the what-ifs, and of my easily being distracted!

i thought about grace, as in, the trait. this young lady was edgy but in a very graceful way - so what is grace? i think that would equate to being aware of yourself, but not seeking to draw attention to yourself; not thinking so much about what you want to be, but just being at the state that you are at your most natural; being the most selfless and compassionate in a way that springs out of an inner confidence; and effort - i think effort is grace. when i think of the people i admire, those that i know deep down i want to be like most are not the 'cooler' ones or the most successful ones, but the ones with the most grace (my mother is one of them; another is my grandmother). i think that's not easy to do. like i said, i'm easily distracted. some days i want to be the quiet geek, somedays i want to be the centre of attention. so, i think it's time to remind myself to try and be a little bit more 'into' myself; i think i'm most graceful when i'm not thinking about myself but about my work or other people; and of course one way to do that is to get back to the Word, because actions and words guided by God's grace are the most genuine and natural.

of course another thing i was thinking about was 'graceful' dressing. i don't mean exacty being feminine - maybe more like, the most natural way of dressing that reflects who i am, how i move, how i am most comfortable, sometimes being a little bolder or different, but confident. i like to be a little anonymous in my dressing. i feel more authority in a great detail (ala proenza schouler satchel) than look-at-me monogramming. There's no mystery and excitment in the latter - you won't be able to create your own identity when it's outrightly a fendi (that said i do love the craft and detailing in these bags and i don't like certain models and maybe if you are one of those whose personality is awesome enough the bag won't overshadow you then such a bag i think is a complement).

i love garance dore's blog. i always get inspired by the people she photographs and how their personality oozes from what they wear.

tuesday



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sometimes i wonder if i will ever get tired of just being inspired and when will i get back to actually 'making' but i shouldn't worry myself with that and enjoy the present, another kind of 'making' that i still need to improve on.

i crave for exercise endorphins, doing many many bench presses gives me a kick. this week i will plan a long long run at the beach, maybe a cycle, and lots of swimming.

meanwhile, korea? spain? vietnam? i need to take time to plan for a holiday to somewhere soon, within reasonable means of course. nothing beats opening up your mind with a new experience.

anyway this is one of my new reads: she takes lovely pictures of her daughter.

also, i'm trying not to buy new clothes - i did go shopping a bit the past month but no more; i will start saving to go somewhere, so i need a little inspiration sometimes on how to mix and match my existing wardrobe. i do know that i need to start looking out for a new pair of black pumps, my existing one still fits well but the heel is rather scratched, like the leather being really scrapped - was it against escalators? was it when i wore my heels to the construction site?

i'm always torn between informal/formal, androgynous/girly, monotone/colourful...do i just need one style? i guess i can be all of that on different days. my fall back uniform is something like the image above - a looser shirt with rolled-up sleeves and fitting pants and good simple heels. i'll always love the look of Filippa K though. i really love the relaxed but semi-formal style with good detailing.

i had a great pre-birthday weekend with the family coming over to bring the kids swimming, as well as the debut of the passionfruit meringue cake we had (thanks love!) that melts in your mouth and looks deceivingly huge but has this delicious foamy light texture that melts in your mouth. on sunday, the in-laws celebrated my birthday along with father's day with mini magnums.

plus a new issue of monocle!

now i have to think of how to maximize my real birthday day. i think it will include a bike ride with husband.

on friday i went to my ex-client's housewarming party at the house i was working on. at the end it's always worth it, the little bit more time spent on designing that little detail, etc. i think in design one always has to look at the long-term. my clients are dream clients really and it was fun catching up with ex colleagues. i think their two boys will have such fun growing up in that house, peering through the little openings at the car porch garden to the dining terrace below from their study desks. the house is compact but so open within and without. i'm glad my husband came as well.


i know most people say father's day is overrated and we should appreciate our dads everyday, but it does help to remind us in the midst of our busy schedules to remember all our dads have done for us. a happy, carefree childhood and education is underrated and for my dad to provide that for all of us without complaint is a god-sent. i really appreciate my dad for all he gave to us and when i recall even the smallest things he has done for us, i think that is better than gold.

no more 'how i met your mother' on tv so we now only have 'white collar' to catch up on. i finally managed to complete part one of my store room packing - we bought those ikea boxes to store my stuff neatly. next week will be round two and then on to the Great Wardrobe Clear-out/husband designated tea time on sunday at 3.30pm where we had kueh kueh from bengawan solo. and for my birthday he's gonna get me the cake i want from The Patissier.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:




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the best things in life: family dinners/ husband in the house/ good words and phrases/ magazines and pictures/ internet/ God and hymns.

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tokyo, 15th march.




on hindsight i should have conquered my fears and gone to setagaya on wed morning. okay this is the last time i will speak about it. it is the past.

tonight we are going to a birthday party.

i thank God for the loveliest husband who tolerates my occassional lady meltdowns and is willing to listen to all my whims. BFF!

+ + +


yesterday i went to view my completed project. i can't really describe how i feel. if there's something that will draw me back to architecture, this really is it. i feel that no one in singapore comes close to the work yh does. no one at all. i mean, who would have thought the panton triple spiral lamp would look awesome here? it takes a great mind to really open up my mind. it was nice to see my friends again and the best clients. i was glad i took my husband along to witness what i had been doing the past year.

+ + +


i think gold is coming back. it's already back! silver is...blah - too safe, not enough character.

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last night

we walked out to the econ minimart to buy a replacement mop because one of ours broke. i have never felt so happy buying a mop!

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husband told me his friend asked him how married life was and he replied - it is good, i love my wife - score point!

+ + +

planning for a weekend away in a resort 24 hours just you and me.

+ + +

the magazine is out! yay!

About



my husband and i agree that we do not like australian tv but i do love australian design - architecture, fashion, etc. there's a prevalent aethetic using natural materials with interesting cuts and flows - again, a very natural sense, which i think, is one of my favourite dressing styles. here are two dresses from husk that exemplify that.

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The French - they are really funny people, or at least the ones i've met. Like Mingyao's good friend Greg in Hong Kong, and recently, the store manager at The Curious TeePee, Sandra. We sat down with her for coffee and she was so hilarious telling us stories about everything - she's incredibly funny! And so when i read Garance Dore's blog - i keep laughing aloud in my head because i can totally imagine how she would sound like by her writings.