Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Mid-Week. Here Comes The Sun

There is a time for everything, and there is a time for everyone. The problem with social media is that the myth that everybody needs to follow a time table of achievements in life at certain points in their life is magnified.

Next year I will be 33. That sounds a lot farther off from the twenties than 32. Looking around me, everybody is unique and so should their lives. I like mine, personalised, my own. I have felt pressures at times, regrets - who doesn't? But perspective and respect to chart one's own journey is of utmost important. At 32, the most important things in my life are God, family, friends, good health, and a clear conscience, and the most amazing husband/best friend money can't ever buy.

Recently, I've started reading my books again, eschewing bedtime Facebook and Instagam and random Internet surfing for a good, slow pacing across paper. I'm trying to read all the books I have bought or received in the past years that have been left on the shelf, unread, new, slowly yellowing. Last weekend, I started on Jeffrey Eugenides' The Marriage Plot. It's got a nice thickness, and when I opened the book, the smell of the paper hit me - that same smell I was familiar with through my youth peeling open a new book, ambling through bookshelves. Doing seemingly mundane things - like choosing the right wrapping paper, writing and snail-mailing letters - that I used to like to do and not thinking it's a waste of time...

Spending more time being analog allows me to be more reflective and calm. I don't need to know what others are up to. I just need to know what husband's doing in the next room, or if my mother is well. I try to look around me at the trees, at the people when I walk out for lunch instead of copying the drones of people walking head down into their phones.

On God, I must say, there is some mending to be done. This year I've been quite angry with him, and I have to learn to trust Him again. Of course, I know He still exists, I still pray to him. But it's like a typical friendship - no? When there are kinks, we have to iron them out. For a start, I'm trying to be grateful for answered prayers.






No comments: