popular mechanics for dreamers

the night is long. it is getting past the freeze - the sudden state of numbness. tinge of frozen panic - when you look at the white white screen. writing is like art is like writing is like running is like everything else. once you are in it like a machine all these fears are blocked out. only when you pause to take a sip of black coffee or walk to the window to smell the night sky then you are out in the open again, vulnerable and cautious and unsure. the product will come. faith and action and faith and action and hope and machine.

some music streaming. the almost noiseless whirling of the fan. no scorching sun trying to attack me. other people working up late on msn. or not. taking comfort in the like of my own typing style - very aggressive. the viscious clicks and clatter are therapeutic. like running or walking or drinking water. i can do it with my eyes close. articulate. articulate. articulate.

temptations. pretend they are rewards. to do after academia takes a break:

_run to upper thomson road
_read my new book
_eat pizza with mingyao
_get new preppy haircut
_write letters
_mail letters
_cloth-window-shopping at arab street
_have a beer at the reservoir at night (idea, lover dude)we can do this with the
pizza!

...and the minutes pass like eating chocolate