and so i think i should value time as i do value the structural beauty of a well-concocted sentence. i've delayed delving into my books and digging out any trace of deeply-buried intellect to read some well-written blogs. words and thoughts can hold me like a spell. i confess i've always had a desire to be really smart - the superintellect, born-brainiac (how does one spell that anyways), the mensa geek queen. a certain level of smartness, i guess, can be cultivated if one is immersed in an atmosphere of critical questioning, taking the trouble to scrutinise life and being bold enough to form opinions, which do not come by if one is lazy (a fault -thinking time is longer than it really is and not being hard enough on oneself). then again, it's not about smart for smarts sake but some level of smarts allows you to see things in different ways, more ways, live life more intensely blah blah blah. i'm easily inspired but it takes a while for me to be an action type. very bad. henceforth i had better 'wake up my idea' (so to speak) or else i am doomed. i need to do some playacting, like take on a pretend-mugger persona, then maybe i will really become one. since my mind works with dramatics, i've just got to hope dramatics makes me a better mugger.

like you know once you lace up your shoes and you have music in your ear, you are back from the run before you know it. meaning, just do it (nike says)

still, i have to do a bit of bland narrative journalling for the record. this mingyao, this boy, this very nice boy. today after i sent some photos for reprinting he sent me to school where i did some research and he went to do some research to 'pimp his ride' and he picked me up again from school and the nicest thing was he called me twice at night cos he said he missed me too much. ah. how to not fall in love liddat.

you don't sleep until you get some work done you hear me. (that was my other persona's soliloquy)