the past few days have been a flurry of activity and worry and physical exhaustion that has rendered me immobile on my chair now. ok it's not that extreme but i'm glad i have a calm room and quiet night to start the week with. this morning i ran the 10km at the nike reel (real?) run at sentosa and it was rather enjoyable, as in it wasn't unbearably hot and the 3km on sand was actually quite a luxury, giving me and most of the other runners a chance to walk cos i'm not sandtrained so i walked most of the sand bits so i didn't feel that exhausted but my contacts irritated my eyes and made my right eye extremely sore and painful so that kinda killed the fun cos i was running around the island with my eyes half closed and watery. anyway i like the ache now though my thighs and calves feel like jello. it's interesting though i thought i won't survive cos the past two weeks' swimming addiction has led me to ignore running but surprisngly i didnt' feel too bad during the run. even the last time i tried to run on friday i just did 2.4km then packed my bags and went to do fourteen quick laps before rushing to school. i guess, it definately is a good addiction.

next up, terry fox run with the aki people and wyn.

frame of mind, frame of mind. need to work on that. i've been so mentally lethargic and lackerdasical which is a more severe crime and i'm annoyed and afraid so i think the isolation in this cosy hostel room will be good for me. everytime i take a step back and analyse myself i cringe at my lack of spontaneity and responsiblity. i think i crave it all but i'm so distracted of late (which refers to uni and onwards) it's simply disappointing. where, is the drive? where is the innocent drive of passion i had before? i think, it's time i started elimating distractions bit by bit from my life and start being focused about priorities. and be more selfless and lardidar. my life, is getting slower and slower paced and that, is not good.

observatory playing now. maybe that contributes to this introspective mood. sun setting, shadows outside and slight breeze. it's evening time, prelude to night. this is it.

i have a fear that i may be made of fluff,i hope it's not true.