dear mingyao,

i have a present for you and your car.

clue: charlie brown

love, me

TO THE FANTASTIC BOY WHO MAKES MY HEART GO POP WITH RAINBOW SPIRALS FALLING FROM THE SKY AND WHOSE PRESENCE IS THE DRAMA OF TRAINS RUSHING BY LOUD CLANGING SOFT BILLOWING OF PAPER IN THE WIND OF DAWNS AND DUSKS IN TECHNICOLOUR POW WOW! YOU ROCK MY WORLD AND I MISS YOU LIKE AN EMPTY WHITEWASHED PAGE!

yesterday ee jie and i went to watch a film fest feature on edward said [ which was really interesting/lots of professor types at the film/william lim and other literary faces were there ] at the national museum's gallery theater. i like the renovations. the extension is great. that place is nostalgic because church is just next door and siew jie and i always rambled into the museum when we were early for church, even after they started charging fifty cents for under twelves, we went in when we were really bored. i think we've seen those miniature wax exhibits showcasing singapore's history in that dark room nearly twenty times. then it would be nice if they were showing something new at the art gallery next door and we would amble in as well. so anyways, i like what they've done to it and i can't wait to go there. if only they had done something like that to the national library, but i suppose it's the only way they say, to do something to the roads. the reference sections at the new library is great, with the views and all. i only wish they'd given the borrowing section a double volume space too, like extend it from the basement up to the first storey. it'd have been a bit like the old brick library then with its high windows. i don't see why they have to cramp that section into the basement now like that with awful lights.

i like the city after the rain. everything looks shinier.

Let it go before it kills you
Let it fall and the fade away
Let's have fun and do what thrills you
Please don't waste another day

morcheeba, 'let it go'

GET OUT AND KICK SOME A*** YO!

today i finally ran after the rain but mosquitoes attacked my thighs even while running but the weather was cool so i ran to the stadium and did a bit of the slopes.

i thought of you all the way there and back, even through the music, and i am going to see you tomorrow and tell you that i love you alot.

Create your own Music List @ HotFreeLayouts!

for now. can't recall the rest. and of course ash's 1977 but they didn't have it.

and i am famished for a holiday. embrace everything. going to make a list. i love you

where do thoughts that cannot be uttered, trapped in the heaving chest containing a deadly explosion, feelings that surge and press against the skin, of anger of indignation or just pure adolescent [immature but human and momentary] temper, go to? i think if i pictured a sweet somewhere, a place that conjures up milk and honey and flights of stairs leading to an attic that contain black balloons you can prick to release the seizure of emotions, maybe that's the trick to containing and eventually erasing my temper tantrums. to only get angry at worldly injustice and not petty personal imaginary agendas that sour my soul. don't waste my heart's store of anger for little squirmishes.

i am pacified by the thought of you. and to hear your voice - it butters over my metaphorical foot stamping.

it's over and gone like a lost cloud. today is triva day. on the pantry's notice board: do you know that polar bears are left handed?

very good news! to be celebrated over scoops of haagan daaz brandied cherry ice cream - congratulations carol. you have no idea how happy i am for you, the most kindred kindred spirit ever!

for you carol:

"But he, taking her clasped hands between both his, said, in a tone of reverent adoration - "...Say you will promise to be my wife - say it now...say that now and always i may prove to you that i love you with complete love." ,with the first tones and the first words, she had only a sense of solemn comfort, referring this goodness of deronda's to his feeling for ezra. but by degrees the rapturous assurance of unhoped for good took possession of her frame; her face glowed under deronda's as he bent over her; yet she looked up still with intense gravity, as when she had first acknowledged with religious gratitude that he had thought her 'worthy of the best'; and when he had finished, she could say nothing - she could only lift her lips to his and just kiss them, as if that were the simplest 'yes'. They stood then, only looking at each other, he holding her hands between his - too happy to move, meeting so fully in their new consciousness..."

'daniel deronda'george eliot

ye woman of little faith!

comb through the clouds in deliberate fashion.

to be a premium member of the national library and being able to borrow films [i got wkw's 'fallen angels'] makes me glow. i really like the esplanade arts library, and the mirrors and corners.

it's all about the bass line.

today we explored Ristorante Da Valentino off rifle range road. it's very homely and casually comfortable.

the calamari we had for starters was unlike any other we had tasted. for once it wasn't about the fried flour but the squid. the flour coating was just thin and enough to suggest a bit of crunch but not too much that it overwhelms the real stuff inside, which was more nicely tender than overly chewy. we shared a chicken pasta, whose gravy was very flavourful, and it made you chew at the pasta diligently so that you could make the most of all the sauce. we also shared a pasta that arrived on a lazy-susan type wooden tray. the crust was thin and crispy. again, it wasn't so much about piling ingredients on chunks of bread. the crust was thin enough just to hold the meats and cheese and the crust crispy, like a wafer biscuit. the tomato sauce wasn't too overwhelming either and the mushrooms were thinly sliced and merged into the cheese, and the ham slices were generous. they wheel dessert to you in a cart with the desserts displayed prettily and temptingly but we were too full. the decor was simple and definately non-pretentious, at all. white lace curtains hanging by the windows, little silver leaning tower of pisas and trains lining the window parapet like the owner's children left them lying about, and the restaurant wasnt' so big so the chef and his parents were mingling about with the little daughter, sleepeyed and at home.

then we headed down to the coffee bean at guthrie house to chill out. hot chocolate and later iced cos we decided to sit outside. and a short trip to the DIY store. i think he's gotten me interested in these things. i was looking out for innovative 3M products.

so the other day ying and i agreed it's definately a great feeling to be out in town in shorts, an impromptu decision made after a horrible experience at cafe catel at serangoon gardens [i must rant: disgustly liquidy lagsana with burnt edges not wiped properly off the plate/dirty tables/oily floors/crumbs on chairs/one grouchy waitress; the rest were nice though] where we headed to town in casual wear. very liberating. shorts are the new weekend uniform. and then i introduced ying to haagan daaz's black brandied cherry ice cream and we bought cones and stood by the flower parapets at junciton 8. i got her addicted. fellas. so will you.

next to a library, i would like to own a sea.

you are my hand-holding partner.

POST-ITS

_you can let out a silent scream in cyberspace and you will be heard.

_i am waiting for air to release another album/jeffery eugenides to write another book/sophia coppola to direct another film

_drink water. alot.

_purge a fistful at a time. you don't have to do everything. do what is important.

_listen to the virgin suicides ost in the dark. actually, listen to many things in the dark.

_i upgraded to a premium membership at the national library. i can borrow four more books!

_graduate students can borrow fifteen books!

_i've long thought about this and cared too much about this: ______. now, release and let go.

_bit by bit i am releasing the poisons that i allow to cloud me. time is seeping like a leak. i had better be careful. [keep yourself to yourself]

_why must everything in singapore be labelled a 'hub' or a 'little bohemia'? grotesque. dear little country. listen to your heart.

_read, masticate, assimilate.

_for record: thurs - school/trumpeter drove me home/mountain of books. hearts. fri - prata/roti john/teh si/bandung/hearts.